In the work of non-violence, it is important to set forth standards of engagement. As a Love Warrior member, doing the work of non-violence, you will be held to a standard of accountability. As the moderator, it is my job to uphold these standards (and I ask you to do the same for me). If you are committed to the work of non-violence, the rules of engagement are simple, and yet through our own woundedness are easily broken:
Be kind: Treat yourself and your fellow Love Warriors with honor and respect. No name calling, blaming, shaming, criticizing or condemning. Honor the other person’s perspective. If you don’t understand it, ask questions. A little inquiry goes a long way toward building understanding.
Be compassionate: Remember that every single human being is wounded and has their own unique set of fears. Be mindful of your own fears when triggered and listen carefully for the fears of your brothers and sisters. Listen with an open heart.
Radical Personal Accountability: Check yourself! KNOW when your own fears or past woundings are being triggered. Are you feeling defensive? Angry? Impatient? Resentful? Judgmental? Before you react, give yourself a time out and figure out what in you is asking to be healed. Do the healing work, and then return to the discussion.
Communication and Conflict Resolution: Follow the guidelines provided in this course. You will be held accountable to them.
A few additional reminders as it relates to the world of non-violence:
Gandhi’s Principles of Non-Violence
- All life is one.
- We each have a piece of the truth and the un-truth.
- Human beings are more than the evil they sometimes commit.
- The means must be consistent with the ends.
- We are called to celebrate both our differences and our fundamental unity with others.
- We reaffirm our unity with others when we transform “us” versus “them” thinking and doing.
- Our oneness calls us to want, and to work for, the well-being of all.
- The nonviolent journey is a process of becoming increasingly free from fear.
Gandhi’s ten principles of nonviolence:
- Humiliating or deliberately provoking your opponent invites violence.
- Knowing your facts and arguments well helps avoid violence.
- If you are open about your cause your opponent is less likely to be violent.
- Look for common ground between you and your opponents to promote trust and understanding.
- Do not judge others.
- Trust your opponent. They will sense this trust.
- Compromise on inessential items to promote resolution.
- Sincerity helps convert your opponent.
- By making personal sacrifice you show your sincerity.
- Avoid exploiting weakness in your opponent. Aim for integrity, not simply to win.
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