No Reward for Being Good

A letter to all healers and change-makers

Lauri Ann Lumby, OM, OPM, MATS

My Dear Sisters and Brothers,

Yesterday I was gifted with a startling realization – one that I believe applies to many (if not all) of the amazing women, men and children I know who are here to heal and change our world.  The roots of this lie within our childhoods, the roles we took on, our beliefs about those roles and how these beliefs have translated into our adult lives – specifically in our tendency to take the unique and special people we are and the gifts we bring to our world for granted and the physical manifestation (or rather, the lack thereof) of taking our gifts and ourselves for granted….which for many of us has translated into struggles over money. (UGH).

It begins in our childhood and in the roles we took on within our family of origin and then brought forth into our life experiences.  For many who become healers/changemakers, these childhood roles include: protector, peacemaker, mediator, “good girl/boy,” caretaker, approval seeker, the responsible one, etc.  These roles become so much a part of who we are that they are often taken for granted.  “Oh, that’s just how (insert your name here) is.”  While on one hand it simply is who we are and what we do and likely the result of the gifts we brought into this world, no one thinks anything of it. Never is there recognition or reward for the effort we put in (often internally) to assume these roles or the inherent gifts we were given that allowed us to take on these roles in the first place. Additionally, there is no acknowledgment for the gifts that come forth out of these roles, which for many include: courage, self-sufficiency, discipline, foresight, empathy, compassion, kindness, the desire to help and to serve, etc. What we take away from these lived experiences is the understanding that there is no reward for being good.  Even more devastating perhaps is the understanding that there is no value to who we are or what we do because “it is simply who and how we are.”

This understanding then follows us into our adult lives.  As we found our calling to be healers/changemakers and understand that this IS who we are and WHAT we came here to do, our past experiences color our beliefs and feelings around this.  If it is simply who and what we do and who and what we are has always been taken for granted, then what value/reward/recognition is there for the gifts we bring into the world to make the world a better place?  We see the manifestation of this is our struggles with money – in our struggles with charging for our services, for asking for an adequate exchange for sharing our gifts in the world, etc.  We also see it in the constant struggle of getting our names and our gifts and services out there…. It often seems as if what works for everyone else simply doesn’t work for us, making us wonder if we’re simply invisible!

When we take our gifts for granted, others do too.  When we fail to see our true magnificence, others will also fail to see it.  The remedy to all of this has already begun in the demon being named – the false belief that there is no reward for being good. The next step is believing in the unique gifts we bring to the world and that what we bring IS TRULY UNIQUE!  To help you/all of us with this, I share the following meditation:

Place yourself within your own body for a moment….go deep within yourself and REMEMBER.  Remember the magnificent gifts you brought into the world that allowed you to become the person you became in your family of origin – protector, peacemaker, mediator, etc. etc. etc.  Remember the gifts that already existed within you that allowed you to become who you became – courage, tenacity, patience, creativity, empathy, self-sufficiency, independence, responsible, deep listener, observer, rememberer, playful, entertaining, discipline, etc. etc. etc.  Remember that your mission and purpose were already present within you at the moment of your birth and reflect on how that mission and purpose was informed, developed, cultivated through your childhood experiences (good and bad).  Remember how your gifts are unique from those of your peers.  Remember how you were set apart as (or thought of yourself as) different.  Remember the moment you became aware of your calling and everything you have done to pursue and fulfill that calling.  Remember every training, every class, every experience that supported the development of your gifts and your calling.  Remember ALL THE HARD WORK and everything it took within you, every sacrifice you have made to get where you are today.  Recognize that you are unique in having pursued your calling!  Recognize what you had to leave behind in order to fulfill this calling.  Acknowledge all those who have had the opportunity to pursue their calling and were too afraid to continue.  Recognize the courage, tenacity, patience, faith, stubbornness that got you to where you are today.  SEE the brilliant star-like presence that lies within the center of your heart.  This is the Light of the Divine that dwells within you and which IS your soul’s calling.  See this light pulsing and glowing and shining forth into the world from within you.  Watch as it reaches out into the farthest reaches of space, bringing forth your light and love into the world.  As it reaches out into the world, observe as it draws toward you all those who are in need of your unique gifts – gifts only you can give them.  Watch as those who need your gifts reach toward you in acknowledgement and gratitude for your gifts and know in your heart that only you can fulfill this need within them.  FEEL the recognition of your gifts as seen through their eyes and FEEL the value of the gratitude they feel in receiving your gifts.  FEEL the value of who you are and what you bring into the world. FEEL the value of all your hard work, years of study and practice, etc.  KNOW that what you have is special and unique and that there are thousands, if not millions, clamoring for your gifts.  KNOW that as you believe in the value of your unique giftedness so too will the world.

As we commemorate the birth of love into the world in the person of Jesus who became Christ,  this is my prayer for you:  That in 2018 you REALIZE the magnificence that you are and experience the abundant reward in being good.

Merry Christmas,

Love,

Lauri

 

 

About Your Spiritual Truth

I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!
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7 Responses to No Reward for Being Good

  1. Sometimes we reduce ourselves and others to mere numbers (numerology, enneagram), or stereotyped personalities as in astrology or birth order or family of origin wound (ACOA, AA, etc). In my own experience, it is a disservice to ourselves and is more hurtful than productive. As you say, we are so much more. I feel these are tools to help us understand better who we are, as well as the gifts we bring. It took me a very long time to realize I was more than an archetype (warrior) or birth order stereotype. ☹️

  2. Amy says:

    Excellent. Much needed.
    Thank you

  3. Melissa Cruz says:

    Last night I was watching a documentary called Poverty Inc. ( I think…) And I learned of a quote that Machiavelli once wrote or said, which is ” We’ll never see change because the people who have much to lose has all the power and the people who have much to gain (like the poor) have no power.” (political /patriarchal)

    Righting the unrightable wrong seems to be, as the song goes, an Impossible Dream.

    Your words are full of inspiration.
    Merry Christmas to you & all.
    I will return your prayer in kind, for you & all.

    Thank you,
    Melissa

  4. Melissa Cruz says:

    Why is this physical karmic law only seems to be only highly punitive? Sometimes for things that was beyond our control or was an unintended result of ones mere presence in a world full of manipulation, deception, & violence, as if ones life is merely a game. If we had free will, wouldn’t that negate prophecies?

    • Melissa,
      My understanding is that prophecies are visions of possible outcomes based on what is happening now and where it seems to be going. We can change the outcome by changing our behaviors.

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