The greatest fear in the human experience is not death, neither is it public speaking. The greatest fear in the human experience is that we are alone – really, truly, alone; and in this aloneness, life has no meaning and no purpose. This is our greatest fear because it is also our greatest truth. At the end of the day, we are really, truly alone. Death brings us face to face with this absolute truth. When we release our final breath, there is no one – only ourselves and our hope that there is another to take us home – and the fear that this “other” is simply a lie we have told ourselves to make ourselves feel better.
Day in and day out, this fear that we are alone, haunts us. While we may not acknowledge that this is the fear haunting us, or that we have any fear at all, believe me, it is there. It is there is our restlessness, our boredom, our short attention spans, our search for something “out there” that will make us happy. It is in our “retail therapy.” It is in our social media searching and trolling. It is in our cultural addiction with reality TV (including the clown show that has become our election process). It is in our food, alcohol, tobacco, drug addictions. It is present in every single situation and experience where we think something “out there” will fulfill us and in the relentless search for that “something.” This fear that we are alone is in our longing and yearning for “the other” who will complete us – even when that “other” is given the name of “God.”
We spend nearly every minute of every day avoiding our fear of this aloneness by chasing after “that which we cannot name.” We are sure if we keep chasing we will eventually find it. It’s in that check we’ve been waiting for, the mysterious windfall, the lottery jackpot. It’s in the elusive soulmate who will bring perfection to our lives. It is in the next great car, the bigger home, the job with the bigger paycheck. It is in the victory of our chosen political candidate.
But guess what? The fear of being alone is NOT remedied through any of the above, because THERE IS NO CURE for our fear of being alone. This fear is the consequence of the human condition and a fear we will always intimately know.
We came here to have a unique and individual experience which by its nature means we are separate and alone. Within this choice also exists the knowledge of our true nature – of a time before we chose separation. It is the knowledge of our true nature that causes us to feel alone while at the same time it is calling us home. It is an ache that will never cease as long as we continue being human. While there is no remedy to the fear of being alone, there is an answer to all the relentless searching and avoiding we do by searching. The answer is to stop running from this fear. Stop looking “out there” for something that will fill the eternal vacancy inside. The only way to calm (not remedy) this fear, is to BE WITH IT.
Being with our fear of being alone means just that. Be with it. Turn away from all the external searching and turn within. Go deep into our hearts where this longing resides. Move past the ego attachments to fame, status, money, power, success and achievement. Move beyond the need to be right and for others to be wrong. Move past the restlessness, boredom, loneliness, impatience, and anxiousness. Move past anxiety, depression and despair. Beneath all of it is the DEEP ACHE, the indelible pain, the vivid realization that we are alone. SIT with this fear. Sit with this awareness. Sit with the excruciating discomfort. Simply be with all this pain is, has to say, and feels like for you. FEEL IT. Revel in it. Bathe in it. Know it to be a deeply intimate, true and cherished part of who you are. KNOW that this ache is your Soul calling you home – NOT home to some “heavenly abode.” Home to YOURSELF. It is here in the deep well of your aloneness that you will find yourself. And here, you will find your power.
The Authentic Freedom Mastery Program provides tools to help us navigate the fears of the human condition, moving us from fear into a deep and abiding love. Learn more about the Authentic Freedom Mastery Program HERE. Check out the FREE preview course to see if Authentic Freedom is for you.