I am going to bet that a whole lot of people are going to be either offended or frightened by a blog that suggests that “God Doesn’t Save.” Bear with me here…..I promise there is a happy ending! 🙂
Yesterday while working through some specific areas of trauma – healing and releasing them through a protocol called “Brainspotting” (under the supervision of a licensed therapist!), I had a staggering realization:
God did not save me, rescue me or support me in the most traumatic experiences of my life:
God did not step in and save me from being raped.
God did not save me from years of emotional abuse.
God did not protect me against betrayal.
God did not step in when the self-appointed inquisition harassed me, wrote evil letters about me, lobbied our local priest and bishop against me.
God did not step in while the Church broke my heart and refused to stand up for me, defend me or have my back when I was challenged, harassed and abused by the fearful few.
God did not step in when I found I had no choice but to leave the Church.
God sat back and did nothing.
Even after I had given my heart, my soul, my mind, my very being to God, dedicated my life to God, I got nothing back. I got nothing but pain for all I had given to God.
“I gave it all to God and got nothing back.” THIS is the very definition of co-dependency. We give, give, give, give and get nothing back.
THIS is the “God” most of us have been brought up to believe in. A “God” who is “out there,” separate and apart from us. This is a “God” who needs our devotion, our time, our attention, our worship. This is a “God” who is fickle – who gives to those who have pleased “HIM” and takes from those who don’t. But even worse, this is a “God” who takes even, or perhaps especially, from those who give.
This is the “God” who sacrificed his own son. This is the “God” who let his chosen one be condemned, ridiculed, and crucified on a cross…..why? “For the forgiveness of humankind????” Let’s be honest, this is a ridiculous kind of God! What kind of God kills his own son? I’ll tell you what kind of God – one who is made in the image of “man” kind – specifically the unholy masculine (not to be confused with the holy masculine) aspect of humankind. This is a God who was created by patriarchal, hierarchical institutions for the sake of their own power and control – institutions who created a God who is to be feared so that they could use this fear to manipulate their followers – a God who looks more like fearful, vengeful, fickle, jealous, angry humans than the God that Jesus spoke about who is LOVE.
So, no, God does not save – at least not the God who is the “old man in the sky,” out there who wants us to bow down to HIM and then just maybe “HE” will give us what we need to survive.
“God” does not save…..but love does.
God did not save me from rape, but love did. Love supported me in my grieving. Love guided me to help and support. Love allowed me to forgive….most importantly, love allowed me to forgive myself.
God did not save me from years of emotional abuse. But love did. Love allowed me to find healing and support. And again, love allowed me to forgive.
God did not save me from the Church who broke my heart, but love did.
God did not rescue me from the hands of the fearful minority or from the priest and bishop who had been poisoned against me, but love did. Love allowed me to heal. Love allowed me to create a new home for myself. Love allowed me to stand in my own truth regardless of the condemnation. Love allowed me to be obedient to love. And love allowed me to forgive.
So while I gave and gave and gave to “God” and got nothing in return, LOVE was there all along, supporting, guiding, healing, transforming and bringing me safely to exactly where I need to be.
This LOVE is not “out there” hanging out among the clouds or in some heaven light years away. This LOVE is not sitting on a throne of gold locked behind some pearly gates. This LOVE is right here inside of me, and this LOVE is right there inside of you. This is the LOVE that you are and the LOVE that Jesus came to know within himself and wanted everyone else to know. This is the LOVE that is our true nature – that holds the knowledge of our life path, the path that will give our lives meaning and purpose. This is the LOVE that tells us what is right and what is wrong, what is true for us and guides us toward that truth. This is the LOVE that compels, guides, and leads us toward the many opportunities in our lives for growth, healing and transformation. And this is the LOVE that helps us find our way through the devastating and painful experiences of the human condition to the new hope and new life that is on the other side of the disappointment and loss. This is the LOVE that leads us toward those who will support us in this love and this is the LOVE that helps us to recognize them when they arrive.
LOVE is what saves, and if you choose to call this LOVE “God,” (or “Goddess”) then let it be so!