Jerry Maguire lies. This movie has provided the single most damaging phrase to our hope for intimate partnership – “You complete me.” When we are looking outside of ourselves for someone else to complete us, we are indulging the compulsion of co-dependency. Co-dependency arises out of the false perception that love, satisfaction and fulfillment exist outside of us which then causes us to seek in another that which we falsely believe we do not possess within ourselves. Co-dependency tells us that love has to be earned or can be taken away which then results in behaviors that cause us either to be manipulative in our search for love or vulnerable to the manipulations of another. I would argue that co-dependency, along with unmanaged anxiety, are the two most common destroyers of intimate human relationships.
Jerry Maguire is not alone, however, in supporting the long-standing culture of co-dependency predominating the West. Traditional fairytales with their happily ever after endings are another common culprit. While all too many have learned that happily ever after isn’t always so happy, traditional fairytales are still the foundational myths upon which we establish our hopes and dreams of intimate partnership. The difficult truth is that as long as we are looking outside of ourselves for completion, or basing our hopes on fairytale dreams, our relationships are doomed to fail. When we are looking outside of ourselves for someone to complete us, we will never truly be satisfied and will fail in our search for a fulfilling and enduring love. The true source of fulfillment can only come from within.
My Happily Ever After online course is based on this premise and therefore presents a different model of intimate partnership. The healthy, fulfilling and enduring love we all long for is built upon the foundation of two individuals who are complete within themselves and who have chosen to come together as equals in mutual support. Interdependence is the goal of this course (and yet to be published book) and of the process into which you will be invited.
Through personal narrative, informative dialogue, poetry, mindfulness practices, and creativity exercises; you will be invited to deconstruct existing and former patterns of co-dependency, by identifying and healing the inner wounds which have caused you to indulge in co-dependent behaviors in the first place. Utilizing the familiar structure of traditional fairytales as a roadmap, you will then learn the skills necessary for building the foundation upon which you can find happiness and fulfillment within while preparing for the possibility of healthy interdependency with another.
Learn more and register for the course HERE.
(P.S. It’s cheaper than counseling!)