From Woe to Wonder

Today’s blog explores the journey of the perfectionist and how the Enneagram can be a tool to help us change our perception from woe to wonder.  (PS  Thank you to Stevie Nicks for being my inspiration for WONDER!)

Ennea-What?

The Enneagram is one of the tools that I use with clients and students to help them identify their own unique temperment, their soul’s purpose and to help them find healing of certain compulsive behaviors or means of perception.  To learn more about the Enneagram, go to:  http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/.

Confessions of a Perfectionist

I cannot share the Enneagram with others if I haven’t and don’t continue to use this tool for my own journey of transformation….and boy have I!  According to the Enneagram philosophy, I am a PERFECTIONIST.  As a perfectionist (point 1 on the Enneagram), I see the world through the lens of “What is wrong here?”  While this lens has its gifts in its ability to identify where improvements or changes can be made in a certain situation or experience, it can also be a curse, especially when the “what is wrong here?” is something that I do not have the power to change or when I turn that question on myself, “What is wrong with me?” or “What did I do wrong or what could I have done better or differently.”  Again, there is a gift as it is through this perception that I have been driven to personal growth and transformation.  The curse, however, is when the drive to personal growth becomes self-loathing.

If you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram and how it might help you in your journey, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or lauri@yourspiritualtruth.com

From Perfectionist to Martyr

The Enneagram has helped me to understand that when I am in a place of extreme stress or anxiety, my perfectionism turns on itself and I move toward my point of disintegration – The Martyr (point 4 on the Enneagram).  The martyr is all about self-loathing, woe is me, victimhood.  The martyr feels misunderstood, alone, rejected, abandoned, unloved.  “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna eat some worms.”  When my perfectionist turns on itself and I become the martyr, I dress in black, wear kohl colored eye shadow and liner, mope around the house, lick my wounds, write dark and dreadful poetry, listen to Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson and spend a lot of time moaning and feeling sorry for myself.  I really don’t like my martyr too much…but she doesn’t really like me either…so there!

If you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram and how it might help you in your journey, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or lauri@yourspiritualtruth.com

From Martyr to Enthusiast

The Enneagram has also taught me that in order to heal my perfectionist and her tendency to martyrdom, I am invited to move toward my point of integration – Point Seven or The Enthusiast.  The Enthusiast is the person that sees the silver lining in every cloud, looks at the world through the lens of “what is good here?” and is able to see through the challenges of life to the good that can come out of it.  The Enthusiast moves through life with a graceful ease.  They are joyful and optimistic about the world and their place in it.  They trust the movement of life and are able to yield to the Divine that is carrying them toward their hopeful future.  The Enthusiast in its higher state is the exact opposite of the Martyr.

If you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram and how it might help you in your journey, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or lauri@yourspiritualtruth.com

Moving from Woe to Wonder

I recently had an opportunity to experience this journey from perfectionist to martyr to enthusiast first hand.  After getting “dumped” (that’s my martyr talking) by my boyfriend of 10 months, I plunged headfirst into the downward spiral of perfectionist to martyr.  There is nothing like a heartbreak to plunge us into the depths of our fears, anxieties, unhealed wounds and COMPULSIONS. “What did I do wrong?  What could I have done better?  How could he not love me?  What is wrong with me that he can’t love me?  Maybe no one will ever love me?  Maybe I’m not deserving of love.  Is love even real?  How did I get that wrong?  How did I miss the signs?  Why did I ignore the signs?  What is wrong with me?”   BLAH BLAH BLAH.  But this past week, I suddenly understood what I have spent nearly twenty years avoiding.  There is a remedy to the darkness of martyrdom….and that is to shift my perspective from WOE to WONDER.  Instead of being taken into the dark swirling mass of martyrdom, I am invited to move toward Point 7 – the Enthusiast.  Here, I am invited to look at the relationship and the breakup for:  What is good here?  What are the gifts that came out of the experience?  What are the healings that took place?  How did I grow?  What did I learn? And moving past the relationship:  What are the new opportunities I get to experience?  What are the different choices I can choose to make next time?  How might the next time be even better than the last?  Instead of looking at the relationship and the breakup through the lens of doom, I can look at it through the lens of hope.  Now I get it!  I’m not saying that my martyr is totally done feeling sorry for herself, but at least I understand that when I am tempted to plunge into the black, all I have to do is flick my magic wand and look at life through the lens of wonder.  In the meantime, I continue my intentions of forgiveness  (of other and of self) while enjoying the freedom to more diligently pursue my personal and professional dreams, which by the way are filled with mystery, magic, wonder and a sprinkle of fairydust.  🙂

If you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram and how it might help you in your journey, contact Lauri at (920) 230-1313 or lauri@yourspiritualtruth.com. 

Through what lens do you look at the world?

How are you being invited to look at the world through the lens of wonder?

Lauri Lumby

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

About Your Spiritual Truth

I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!
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