Today’s blog explores the process through which we find healing and release of our deepest spiritual wounds and fears and how through God’s Grace, the ultimate healing takes place.
Identifying Spiritual Wounds
When I say the words spiritual wounds, do you nod your head in understanding or stand there with mouth agape wondering what the heck I’m talking about? If you are like most of us, it is the latter. Rarely, if ever, do we hear talk about spiritual wounds. We hear about physical, emotional and maybe even mental wounds, but the spiritual part seems for most to be a mystery or even a non-topic. Here is where I come in. 🙂 Through the integration of Spiritual Direction and Reiki, I have come to understand seven primary spiritual wounds that are universal to all of humanity. In my book, Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy, I give these wounds/fears specific names and explain them in detail. For the purpose of this blog, I will summarize the seven spiritual wounds as:
In order to find healing of these deep spiritual wounds, we need first to be able to identify them as active in our lives. Because of their deeply embedded nature, identifying the activity of these wounds is easier said than done! Again, here is where I come in.
The good news is that while we might not be able to see the ways in which we entertain rejection, resentment, shame, etc. or the ways in which they present an obstacle in our lives, we can identify the symptoms of these wounds. On the surface of our lives, usually present for all to see, are the compulsive behaviors, thought patterns, negative beliefs, obsessions that are in fact caused by our underlying spiritual wounds. If we want to stop the behavoirs, we need to heal the wound, but we need the behaviors to help us identify the wound in the first place so that we know what we are trying to heal. Here is a little story from my own life to help you understand the process and how I recently identified the spiritual wound of rejection and how I found healing for another layer of this stubborn demon:
Breakups and Heartache
On the evening of Sunday, June 3rd, the love relationship that I had enjoyed for the past ten months came to an unexpected end. I was heartbroken, devastated, shocked, confused, etc. etc. etc. Knowing the best thing I could do for myself was to grieve….I did. I cried, I wailed, I keened, I raged, I bargained and I bargained some more. As a recovering perfectionist, I also had to spend some time trying to figure out “What did I do wrong? Were there signs along the way? How could I have allowed this to happen? What can I do better next time?” Of course, I also had to spend some time in blame….”What did he do wrong?” Now, there is nothing wrong with trying to learn from past relationships, and growing from the experience, but after a month of grieving and processing, I found I was still OBSESSING. I couldn’t get the relationship and all the details of it and all my ideas of how to fix it or fix me or fix him out of my head. I was spending WAY TOO much time thinking about this and NOT ENOUGH time tending to my own life, family, business, etc. The control freak in me had to have all the answers and had to be able to make me perfect so that I would never suffer heartache again. GOOD LUCK with that! So, this past Sunday evening, while facilitating a meditation gathering, I found myself once again caught up in the whirlwind of obsessive thoughts. Then I remembered the book I wrote and the classes I teach: OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS are only the SYMPTOM. What is the wound????? So I drew the obsessive thoughts into my heart and BREATHED. I drew them closer and closer, open to the revelation of the wound that these obsessive thoughts were trying to protect. And then I felt it…….like a knife to my heart, the acute, sharp, spirit destroying wound of REJECTION. ARGH! I had been rejected. And that HURT. And I wept. Then I saw all the ways in which this wound of rejection had been negatively impacting my life and how it had become an obstacle to forward movement, happiness, peace and success. In the face of this wound of rejection, I felt powerless….How am I going to heal this deep and maleficent wound? This is where God comes in.
My Grace is Sufficient Unto Thee
In finding healing of our spiritual wounds, it is our job to identify our compulsive behaviors that are trying to protect us from the pain of our wounds and it is our job to identify the wound within us. Then, it is our job to ASK FOR HEALING, sometimes to plead and beg for healing, to admit our powerlessness over this wound and to surrender our will to a Higher Power/God. The actual healing of the wound is then accomplished through God and through God alone. And the accomplishment of that healing comes unbidden – not because we finally prayed hard enough, said enough rosaries, offered enough mea culpas, or paid enough indulgences. The gift of God’s grace is what heals the wound and how and when that happens is a mystery, but it cannot come if we don’t know we need to be healed. That is again, where the Authentic Freedom process comes in – giving us the tools to identify the wounds beneath our compulsions so that we can invite God to heal us.
Grace Healing Rejection
So this is what happened to me. After my meditation on Sunday, I realized how powerless I was over that darn demon of rejection and I went to bed and cried, pleaded, begged God to relieve me of this burden. I didn’t want to spend any more time obsessing about something I had no control over and feeling like crap because a relationship didn’t work out and I was tired of all the ways that the wound of rejection had been negatively impacting my life. I surrendered it all to God, having no idea what the outcome might be. The next morning, I woke up…..completely free. No more obsessive thoughts. No more daggers of hurt. No more need to manipulate or control the situation. I was at peace, content, happy. And I knew that I did not do that…..God did. And for that I offer a profound prayer of thanks!
What are the obsessive/compulsive behaviors in your life that might be masking a deeper spiritual wound?
How can you be open to identifying the deeper spiritual wound?
How might you ask God for help in healing that wound?
Authentic Freedom Ministries