In her book, The Wheel of Initiation, Julie Tallard Johnson invites the reader to get in touch with their “pain story,” the agreements that we have embraced in support of this pain story and work toward naming and claiming and embodying the intention that will help to facilitate healing and release of that pain story, and assist us in our path of spiritual growth. Today’s blog explores and opportunity to revisit the Wheel and the gifts that it provides.
As I have shared in the past, I have been working through the Wheel of Initiation as outlined in Julie Tallard Johnson’s book of the same name. The pain story that revealed itself to me as the one in search of healing is “rejection.” I learned through this process that rejection has been the lens through which I frequently view my life. Integrating the practices presented in Julie’s book with the practices of Authentic Freedom, I have come a long way in recognizing when this story rears its ugly head and have done much work toward allowing this pain story to be healed and released. Apparently I’m not done yet.
Sparing You the Details
I will spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say that the old, familiar pain story recently made its appearance…not once…but three times. UM….probably time to pay attention. Three significant situations that could easily have been viewed as some form of rejection, and three situations that opened up the door for my inner victim to feel wounded, betrayed, hurt, deceived, rejected. The good news is that I am still human and have allowed space for my victim to be sad, to feel alone, to lick her wounds, to scream and to cry (all important parts of the grieving process). The even better news is that because of the work I have done on the pain story and my fear of rejection (Chapter 6 of Authentic Freedom), my inner victim did not have to retreat into days, weeks, and/or months of cultivated self-loathing. Instead, I have tools I can turn to that allow the rejection to be transformed into love.
The Trick and the Question
The intention that I have been invited to embrace as a tool for healing the pain story of rejection is “I receive everything as love.” What I have learned about employing this intention is that it is a bit of a trick. It is about shifting my perspective and asking a question. The question is, “Where is the love in this?” Now, I’m not going to lie to you and say that I discovered through this work that the three situations were really not about rejection at all…but it was only my perception that made it about rejection. They were ALL THREE really and truly situations of someone saying “no” to me….I was not welcomed, I was not wanted, I was turned down and set aside. It is how I internalize these three situations that determines if “I am rejected” or if I can instead receive these “rejections” as love. That is the trick! Do I allow the “rejection” to reach deep into me and destroy me (as I would have done in the past) or do I look at the situations from a different vantage point and see that what I might perceive as rejection is really and truly about love. HHHMMM It does require a bit of spiritual gymnastics….but this tactic really does work.
Receiving and Believing in the Love
So, when I look at these situations from the vantage point of love, a whole new picture begins to emerge. It is no longer about personal rejection, instead doors are open to seeing all kinds of hidden truths: another person’s pain story, validation of my own intuitive knowings, a reflection of what no longer supports the love I know myself to be, an invitation to leave behind what is no longer life-giving and supportive and permission to move toward something that is more in harmony with who I know myself to be today. The love, I found, is hidden behind the mask that I would initially perceive as rejection. Then here is the really cool part, when approached in this way, the “rejection” is transformed and becomes an affirming, nurturing, supportive gift that says, “See how far you have come….here is the way to love and thank you to persons X, Y and Z that showed you the path to more and more fully embracing your truth and more and more freely embracing the love and healthy intimacy you know to be true in your own heart”. Now that is one cool trick!
What is your relationship with rejection?
How might you begin to perceive rejection in another way?
What are the gifts that past “rejection” have given you?
Authentic Freedom Ministries