Week Two of the Wheel of Initiation, the book and the process by one of my teachers, Julie Tallard Johnson. Ending agreements, releasing my pain story and continuing to integrate my intention as part of my own process of spiritual growth and enlightenment.
This has been a fantastic voyage moving through Julie Tallard Johnson’s book, Wheel of Initiation – Practices for Releasing Your Inner Light. While I have read and moved through many books on spiritual growth and transformation, and now written my own (Authentic Freedom – Claiming a Life of Contentment and Joy being released this April!), Julie’s book has provided a depth and some fresh insights that I needed at this point in my journey. One of those depth pieces is the invitation to end agreements that support our pain story. As I shared last week, my pain story is rejection. Here are a few of the agreements that I have discovered support my pain story:
- I don’t trust myself – my dreams, visions, hopes, decisions, etc.
- I have to be perfect in order to be accepted and loved
- It is my job to make ________ happy so that they will accept me
- I have to carry the shadow of __________ so that they will accept me
- It is my job to save, cure, help __________ because if I do, they will accept me
- There is a right answer and a wrong answer and if I get the wrong answer, I will be rejected
These agreements and other like them keep me imprisoned by my own fear of rejection. In the Wheel of Initiation, we are invited to let go of these agreements so that we can allow our pain story to be healed, thus embodying more and more fully the intention that presented itself to me as I entered into the Wheel. My intention? I receive everything as love.
The Power of Observation
What I have been reminded of in the Wheel is that as I state this intention, life will present to me an abundant number of opportunities to put this intention into practice. And has it ever!!!!!!! Every day, I find myself confronted by opportunity after opportunity to make a choice – do I continue to choose my pain story or do I embrace my new intention? What has helped me in this process is again something that Julie promotes: observation! Instead of reacting to life’s circumstances, we are invited in the Wheel to simply observe. Watch and Listen. Where is my pain story being triggered and where can I choose a different agreement?
Recognizing the Pain Story
When I find myself in a situation where I could choose my pain story, it is pretty obvious – I start feeling anxious, closed in, I begin to feel small, my mind begins to race and I doubt myself. I feel a tug from somewhere deep inside me that seems to be drawing my own power and energy out of me as I am tempted to give it away to somebody else. This tug I can actually feel on the physical level. All these have served as red flags to me that my pain story and its supporting agreements are being triggered. So, instead of my normal reactionary stance to these flags, I have decided to stop, observe and wait. Then, I take some time for myself to reflect:
- How is this related to my pain story?
- What are the agreements I’ve made in this situation, with this person, that support my pain story?
- How am I being invited to release these agreements?
- How can I now receive this situation instead as love?
A Work in Progress
Yes, I am a teacher of spiritual things. I have written my own book on spiritual transformation and facilitate a process of spiritual growth and transformation for adults. And….I am still a work in progress. Happy to learn. Happy to grow. Happy to be in the company of other teachers who help me to continue to heal so that in turn, I can be a more open vessel through which Divine love can be revealed in the world. So, Thanks Julie, I’m having a great time working the Wheel!
What is your pain story?
What are the agreements that support this story?
How are you being invited to release these agreements?
Authentic Freedom Ministries