Jesus gets a “Web Redemption”

My latest guilty pleasure is watching the show, Tosh.O on the Comedy Channel.  Irreverent and always on the edge of political incorrectness, Daniel Tosh is right up my alley.  I love this guy and he makes me laugh and squirm as he continually pushes the envelope.  One of the segments of the show is called “Web Redemption” where they take some much-maligned YouTube video (like the “I like turtles” boy) and bring them on the show where they have an opportunity to “redeem” themselves.  The following blog is my own creation of what it might be like of Jesus were brought on Tosh.O for his own web redemption (I feel badly for Jesus who I think has been much maligned!)  Warning, in the spirit of Tosh, there might be a dab or so of irreverence. 

 

Daniel:  Wow,  It is pretty cool getting to meet the Son of God.

Jesus: I know, I’m so happy to meet you.

Daniel:  What do you mean?  You are the Son of God, not me.

Jesus:  Daniel, you are as much a son of God as I.  That is one of the things I came to remind you and everyone else about.  We are all sons and daughters of God….fully human and fully Divine.  This title doesn’t belong to me alone.  Maybe I have more fully embraced this truth than some, but that doesn’t make you any less Divine.

Daniel:  Hold your horses.  “Mr. Preacher Man” told me that I was born inherently evil with the dark stain of original sin on my soul.  And that this could only be redeemed if I were baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and accept you as my personal Lord and Savior.

Jesus:  Yea, well.  Paul and Augustine kind of messed up that part and the guys after them ran with it.  What both Paul and Augustine were trying to communicate is that there seems to be something inherent in the human condition that compels us to act in ways that are other than loving.  They both also recognized that there is a remedy to this inherent something and that is might have something to do with the reason I showed up in the first place.  They just got a little foggy in the details. 

Daniel: So, I don’t have a dark stain on my soul that will condemn me to spend an eternity in hell?

Jesus:   A hell of your own making, but only if you choose it.  And, there is another choice.  The choice is to remember the truth of your Oneness with God and with one another.  This is what I came to remember and found myself called to show others how to remember this Oneness so that they too could experience the peace and joy that I had come to know in the recognition of God’s love.  God is love….period, end of sentence, that’s all.  Unfortunately, when we choose to become human, we sometimes forget this love and that creates a fear and a longing within us that we are then compelled to remedy.  It is this fear and longing that Augustine called original sin.  I call it original blessing because it is this fear and longing that ultimately brings us back to God.  It is really quite remarkable.  It is kind of like God knew that the human condition would suck in many ways and wanted to give us something that would help us remember our truest origin in Oneness with God.  The best part is that we are not really separated from God….never have been, never will be, it just temporarily seems that way.  Meditation, prayer and other spiritual disciplines help us to pierce through that veil of illusion to see once again the truth of our Oneness with God.

Daniel:  Wow, that is pretty unbelievable stuff.  Seems almost blasphemous.

Jesus:  I know, that is what got me killed.  I spoke about the truth of this Oneness  and it threatened those who got their power from keeping people in fear of God. 

Daniel:  The Jews, right?

Jesus:  Ha….another thing some of the gospel writers didn’t quite get right.  It was not the Jews that killed me.  It was the Romans, spurred on by a fearful minority of individuals who were unwilling to let go of their fear-based power structures. 

Daniel:  Death to those infidels then in the name of Jesus Christ! 

Jesus:  No, No, No.  Never death in my name!  For that matter, never death in anyone’s name.  Only love and forgiveness.  Never death. 

Daniel:  Ok, enough about the God stuff.  Tell me, were you getting it on with Mary Magdalene or what?

Jesus:  Why does it always come down to this question?  Daniel, I love you and this is really none of your business.  Besides, what difference would it make?  I still came to share the truth of Divine love and it is the awareness of this love that is our path to spiritual freedom.  Whether or not I was married or had sex would not change this truth or my call to share it.

Daniel:  Well said.  I just needed to sneak that one in for the viewers, you know, ratings!  So in closing, if there was one thing you would want us to get from this little interview, what would that be?  What would be your parting words to our viewers?

Jesus:  The same parting words I had for my friends before I died, “Love one another as I have loved you.”  That’s it.  That is all you need to know. 

Daniel:  Thanks Jesus.  By the way, you are a pretty cool dude!

Jesus:  Thanks Daniel.  I think you are pretty cool too!

NOTE:  The above blog is completely and totally a figment of my own imagination and in no way reflects the opinions, theology or philosophy of Daniel Tosh, Tosh.O or Comedy Central.  So, any attempts to trash Tosh will be pointless!  Besides, there are lots of other people who have beat you to the punch.  😉 Love ya Tosh! 

 

Lauri Lumby

http://yourspiritualtruth.com

 

About Your Spiritual Truth

I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!
This entry was posted in Inspiration, Jesus and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Jesus gets a “Web Redemption”

  1. Kari Uselman says:

    I had a big belly laugh and now have the biggest smile on my face as I leave the house for my work day after reading your blog…the dialogue was awesome….

  2. Tayanna says:

    Just great Lauri. I really enjoyed this. Love you, Love Jesus… oh wait… same thing.

Comments are closed.