As I sit to pen this blog today……I find myself plagued by a tragic case of writer’s block. I GOT NOTHING. I surrendered yesterday to the chop wood and carry water hoping it would help free the block I’ve been stuck in and NOTHING! So, today I am forced to ask the question, “Is there a way to perceive creative blocks as a spiritual practice?”
So, because of this block, I apologize ahead of time for the rambling nature of this blog…..but there you go, the nature of creative block. And, I would be lying if I did not confess a profound frustration, impatience and a little bit of rage over this current state of blockage. All I want to do is move forward with my current manuscript, but alas, it seems it is not to be (for now). Normally, I would stay in this place of frustration and impatience, stomping around the house, taking my frustration out on the kids and Scot and maybe finding a few things to poke a stick at so that everyone else can feel as miserable as I do. While I can’t say I am totally free of this tendency, one thing the contemplative life has shown me is that creative blocks, while maddening, do serve a purpose. Albight a mysterious purpose, they serve a purpose nonetheless. And the purpose is this: To remind us of WHO is in charge!
I so want to believe that I can control the outcome of my creative endeavors and that I can control how they are revealed. Creative blocks remind me that it is the Holy Spirit that guides and inspires and in its own time – not mine! Creative blocks remind me to stop, pause and surrender to the movement of the Spirit and trust that the block will be released in its own time when the Spirit and my higher self is ready. Perhaps I am not yet in a place to receive the information that is yet to be revealed. Perhaps I am carrying within me a wound that is hindering this Divine communication. Maybe there is knowledge I have yet to attain or integration that needs to take place before I can assimilate the information that needs to be communicated. Maybe I am afraid of putting the information “out there” due to my own resistance to criticism or judgement. Whatever the reason, during times of creative blocks I am reminded to surrender to Divine providence and allow the shift to take place in its own time so that what the Holy Spirit desires to make manifest through me is more fully of the Divine and less out of my own ego.
Ah ha…….and I just remembered one of the spiritual disciplines I have embraced during times of significant blocks…..it is time to shift my creative attentions from my usual writing endeavors and pursue creativity of another nature. Maybe if I sit down to the piano or create a collage or another piece of visual art or cook a creative meal I will step far enough out of the area of the block that it can begin to find its release. Like the butterfly that cannot fly as long as we cling to it, neither can our creativity blossom as we hold it tightly to ourselves, or give it too much attention.
Now, here’s the challenge….now that I have been invited to pursue creativity of another nature…..how do I quell the excited anticipation of this endeavor on a day filled with basketball tournaments and kid’s activities?AAAAARRRGGGHHH……another day of “chop wood and carry water.” And an invitation to trust that the Holy Spirit will create space in which this creative invitation may find its expression.